got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
