i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
