hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
