She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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