it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I have post one night stand depression
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
