I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize
