You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
