And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Randomize
