once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
