She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He did a backflip because drugs
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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