I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
