I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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