O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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