Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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