well you can't waste a boner
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
