Only a mothe r could love this liver
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
