3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
