He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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