bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize