My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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