Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
