Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
