The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
