He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
