Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
