wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
