Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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