I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
