and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
