You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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