your thong is hanging out like whoa
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
