What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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