I need help removing her.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
