dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
