Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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