This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I believe in your delicious
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
