He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
