Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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