what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Can I color on your dick again?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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