What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i dont even know how to be here
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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