you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
