It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I accidentally had phone sex last night
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
