So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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