I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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