Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
