it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
