Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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