so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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