just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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