You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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