So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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