ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
