soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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