i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize