like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
