A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
