This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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