How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize