you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
