ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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