Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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