Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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