I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
