I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
