To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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