your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
