my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
