Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
