"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
