how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
