If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
