Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
