at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize