yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
