You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
home. puking in laundry basket.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
