You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
