Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize