its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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