it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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